Thursday, April 23, 2009
'Its so hard to say im fine without him...
because deep inside im hurt and i have to pretend im alright..
smile and hold back the tears
because from what i can see...
he's doing fine without me.." T_T
"there are things that i dont want to think of,
but i cant even forget it..
there are things that i dont want to continue
but im afraid to end it..
Its just liek i dont want to expect anything...
but im still willing to wait....."
Last April 21 2009 at around pass 10 am he texted me and said he's breaking up with me yeah...he did... I asked him why so many times.... Sabi nya nahihirapan sya sa situation namin.. and may nakilala syang iba....and that it happened so fast daw...i still dunno a lot or some.. pero sabi nya un lang daw ang reason why..
It hurts it hurts liek hell.... weve been together moer than 3 yrs... and he ended our relationship just liek that..
Sana noon pa nya naisipang makipaghiwalay... hindi kung kailang mahal na mahal ko na sya...nahihirapan sya.. ganun naman na ang setup namin miski noon and he's ok with that.. bihira kami magkita, pero nagkikita kami hindi naman totally wala... T_T
I talked to him the next morning april 22 over the phone.. and i cried, nung 21 pa ko naiyak... sabi pa nya siguro nga mas mahal nya yung girl para talikuran ako ng ganun na lang... he even told me na kaya ko tong lagpasan... na makakalimutan ko rin sya... i was liek " f*ck " nagagawa pa nyang sabihin un ganitong hirap na hirap ako..
sabi nya mas ok daw na wag na muna kami magusap..para daw madali akong makamove on.. pero nahihirapan pa rin ako... lagi ko syang naiisip.. every seconds lang ata naiisip ko sya... pero sya alam kong hindi na nya ko iniisip... dahil may iba na sya eh.. he's actually cool about it.. parang feeling ko tuloy hindi more than 3 yrs. ang pinagsamahan namin...naiisip ko tuloy. naiisip din nya kaya ako?, namimiss din nya kaya ako tulad ng pagkamss ko sa kanya?.. naalala kaya nya ako and ung mga pinagsamahan namin non?... but then again alam ko na ang sagot... shmpre.. hindi..
he even texted me na wag ko na syang guluhin... see... pinagtatabuyan na nya ko haha.. alam ko ang tanga tanga ko...dahil dito.. pero nasaktan ako ng sobra sobra.. i never thought na darating ang araw na un...
I know di ko dapat pinost to dito.. dahil masyadong personal... pero.. di ko rin kasi kaya na kinikimkim ko ang nararamdaman ko.. kahit dito man lang mailabas ko ang sama ng loob ko...
Parang hindi sya ung nakilala ko... hindi ganun ang nakilala ko.. ung nakausap ko sa phone.. he's cold.. parang... haiz... pero sabi naman nya wala daw syang magagawa to make me feel better... he just said sorry...
i know darating din ang time na makakamove on ako.. and matatanggap ko rin to..
sayang lang kasi... mahal na mahal ko sya.. di nya lang ata alam un dahil sa mga nangyari samin before... pero mahal ko sya... hanggang ngaun naman mahal ko pa rin sya...
sabi pa nya madali ko lang daw magagawa na makalimutan sya kasi wala naman daw syang silbi.,...wala daw syang kwenta...sabi ko naman kahit sya pa ang pinakawalang silbi.. mahal ko pa rin sya... but still wala din.. haha..
so i guess... wala na talaga akong magagawa... but to accept.. though mahirap.. lahat na lang ng nakikita ko.. naaalala ko sya...mula kay Pikachu and sa Panda Bear na binigay nya pareho sakin.. and marami pang iba... pati mga favorite songs nya na kinanta ko non para sa kanya... haiz... Pati and restaurant city sa Facebook na sya ang nagpalago... sya kasi ang madalas na naglalaro nun kaya madali ako na level up... and now i stopped playing it siguro for the mean time i dunno... sabi pa nya sakin sa phone " ikaw na bahala sa resto..." kaya yun close ko muna ung resto... i dunn really care na... and with plurk.. im thinking of quitting.. marami pa syang iniwang remembrance na masakit pag nakikita ko naririnig ko.. haiz.. ang laki ng naging effect nito sakin sobwa...
sabi pa nya baka daw pedeng maging friends pa rin kami dun naman daw kami nagsimula...tas balang araw daw papakilala nya sakin ung gurl.. haiz T_T
sana lang talaga makayanan ko.. nasira pa ung keypad ng cellphone ko.. nabasa kasi dahil kakaiyak ko nung kinausap ko sya..lolz...
i guess hindi nya kayang mag antay... sabi ko naman malapit na rin na magkasama kami... pero he didnt.. wait for me.....
alam kong with the right time makakamove on din ako... buti pa sya ang bilis nya makamove on ako kasi nahihirapan =] he'd been a part of my life and he will always be. I know masaya na sya ngayon so ill just be happy for him. though it breaks my heart, ill accept it.
I still wished I had the chance to see and hug him even for the very last time.... he let go of my hand... and forget about me...
Broken Vow by Lara Fabian
Tell me her name I want to know The way she looks And where you go I need to see her face I need to understand Why you and I came to an end Tell me again I want to hear Who broke my faith in all these years Who lays with you at night While I'm here all alone Remembering when I was your own I let you go I let you fly Why do I keep on asking why I let you go Now that I found A way to keep somehow More than a broken vow Tell me the words I never said Show me the tears you never shed Give me the touch That one you promised to be mine Or has it vanished for all time Chorus I close my eyes And dream of you and I And then I realize There's more to love than only bitterness and lies I close my eyes I'd give away my soul To hold you once again And never let this promise end Chorus sensya na ang drama ng song ko dito...
yun kasi ang eksaktong nararamdaman ko ngaun
bawat lines kasi sapul ako eh T_T
meron ba kaung mga sad loev quotes jan?
yung kakarelate po ako? haiz.. lolz..
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Tuesday, April 07, 2009
ayun...so after so many years haha exag .. =D
im back again.. ill make this short coz i just wanted to update my blog...
- i havent updated my blog kasi..i was so busy with facebook nabanggt ko na un non..Restaurant City , Pet Society and Sorority Life. Dun ako pinaka active ... its really addicting naman no wonder many people play em... Mejo time consuming nga lang patunay na un ang sobrang bihira ka magupdate ng blog..dagdag mo pa ung connection sa bahay minsan mabgal...Minsan nga ang naglalaro ng Restaurant City and Sorority Life ko ay ang bf ko haha pag kasi di ko macheck sya ang naglalaro nun and napatunayan ko ngaun na mas magaling talaga sya sa mga online games.. ewan ko kung anong gnagawa nya dun pero ang bilis nya mapalevel up (Restaurant City & Sorority Life) ^_^
- lately pa inayos ung haws namin.. nilagyan ng tiles ang buong bahay kaya ayun.. di me makanet panay internet shop lang ako nun kaya di pedeng magtagal. Ok naman na ung haws..haws pa rin naman un haha.. =]
- i really missed blogging, and the people na laging dumadaan sa blog ko. T_T i miss you all...
- with my previous post nga pala about my best friend..Kinuha nya ung Ym ko.. kaya pede na kami magusap ahehe...XD di ko nga lang sya matyempuhan amf..pero at least di ba?! shes reaching out na sa wakas nyorks...Thnx nga pala sa mga nagcomment dun... sa previous post ko sobwang appreciate ko lahat ng sinabi nya po dun..^_^
- Bihira na rin ako mag ftalk... i do visit the forum of course mod ako dun eh... pero di na ko tulad ng dati na... nagtatagal dun..pasilip silip na lang ako.. zap ng reports dun etc... i missed em too especially my TS family. Lately nagkagulo dun ewan ko kung anong reason pero basta nagkagulo pero Ok naman na po... Ts will always be TS the craziest and coolest people Ive met.
- Siguro nakita nyo na ung commercial/teaser ng Precious Hearts Romances sa Abs - Cbn.. ^_^ actually i love reading PHR, as in... slightly addicted na ko dun.. di ko masabi kung addict na ko pero compare dun sa mga co members ko sa site.. walang wala pa ko sa knila.. ga-baul daw mga collections nila samantalang ako.. errr onti lang haha.. ill post the pics next time.. since malapit lapit naman na ipalabas ung PHR unahin daw ata nila ung Kristine Series.. uhmm guess ok lang din un nakabasa na rin ako ng ilang Kristine series eh... Its really fun reading PHR nakakatuwa haha minsan nga nakakarelate pa sa mga stories dun and I liek the expressions nung mga characters sobwang funny haha... xD uhmmm i wasjust wondering kung sino sino mga gaganap dun , though pinakita na sa tv na sina roxanne guinoo, valerie concepcion daw uhmm guess ok lang din sila... ..
ano pa ba sabihin ko? wala na... yan lang mga yan ang nangyari sakin nung nawala ako sa blog world.. =D
till here ciao!!!
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Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Last Sunday A highschool friend of mine left a message for me at facebook, she told me that my bestfriend since Grade 1; Aurora left for Australia. I was really shocked and surprised and of course I felt bad. She *Pipay* told me that they even had this gathering or farewell party for her last 2 weeks. And they/she didnt even informed me about her plan. I know we havent talk and that we dont really text a lot. We only have the chance to talk/chat is through Friendster which is bihira pa sya magreply once in a blue moon, I left her comments, messages for the past weeks, and even years and she doesnt reply huhu. I dunn wanna think she'd change. And even if she did, shes still my bestfriend. I was really sad and tampo lolz.. coz weve been the bestest friends since grade 1 to highschool and I know in my heart she'll always be my bestest friend. Thats why im feelin hurt. She couldve at least let me know about that. Kahit nga sabhin lang nya eh "
Hi! ill be leaving for Australia na! aun! so bye" kaso wala eh.. haiz...
im really hurt amf...ang drama ko lolz..lilipas din to just wanna let it all out. Maybe she has her own reasons why, I saw her viewed my FS account lately. Pero still she didnt left me a message. uhmm I know may pagkukulang din ako sa kanya pero Im trying to reach out to her and even givie effort to communicate with her haiz.. ganun ata talaga siguro. Im sure we'll see each other again! Parang
Gossip Girl lang haha *
Blair ikaw ba yan?* lolz.. ganun kasi drama nila eh umalis si Serena ng walang paalam lolz.. basta un na un I just hope na she's happy and safe wherever she is now ....I really miss her
haiz...
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Thursday, March 19, 2009
Somebody you like from somebody you love..
ok so ive been asked many times regarding love problems lolz. and this involves the difference daw bet. like from love...
I posted this already at my fs blog but since im not that active there... i decided to post it here too..
with somebody you love.. He/She He will/She will....
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
6. Play with your hair.
7. His hands always find yours.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
11. Never run out of love.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
18. Appreciate you.
19. Help others out.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
24. Stare at you.
25. Call for no reason.
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves u that much to quit it.
oh di ba ang sweet.... ^_^
Heres the real difference...between the two..
Know the difference between "somebody you Love" and "somebody you Like"
In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster.But in front of the person you love, you get happy.In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.But in front of the person you love, you can.In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you love.When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.The feeling of love starts from the eyeBut the feeling of like starts from the ear.So if you stop liking a person you used to like,all you need to do is cover your ears.But if you try to close your eyes,love turns into a drop of tear andremains in your heart foreveruhmmm makes sense naman di ba? try assesing yer feelings for someone coz it could be infatuation when you think/feel its love. ^_^
And I wanna take this opportunity to thank siz Ren-Kailin. Coz she gave me a gift last 2 weeks. its a graphic one...And I really loev it! The message especially..
"Feeling ko I've known you fo so long..."
Thnx siz ren.. ^_^ yer so sweet... and im really glad we've known each other..
Ngayon ko lang napost to kahit dapat non pa.. kasagsagan kasi ng Francis M news nung binigay nya sakin to ^_^ muah again thanx siz loev yah mumuch!
now
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Sunday, March 15, 2009
Last Night we went to Metro Bar at West Avenue Quezon City, natuloy din kami! dapat sa Laffline kami, but we had conflicts sa sched , so we decided to go for Metro Bar instead. It started 9 pm, but we arrived at 11 pm haha kumusta naman yun?! we went to my friend aja's place before we went to the place. Coz her Auntie/Tita Loida insist that someone should be able to pick her up *lakwatchera kasi un kaya naging ganun, may pasundo sundo pa haha*and so we did... It was fun coz after a year we finally had a bonding again! and last night, nothing's changed ganun pa rin kami tulad nung college pa kami. Still were crazy, fun and so err noisy?! haha di naman we just had so many stories to tell thats why! we were 9, Me, Aja, Majo, Kc, Elaine, Liezl her boyfriend Vince and Kuya meynard... it was really fun. When we entered the Bar you can hear the band singing new pop, rnb songs.
We looked for a place, then the waiter assist us, and asked us what to order I was really thirsty, My friend Elaine and Liezl were the ones to decide on what food to order
we ordered, Iced tea, Bailey's and San Mig Light...then ung food Nachos with cheese ang sarap xD haha..
then we took some pics na rin... ;)
Then the comedians started their piece..It was all really fun. Theyre all so funny no, Hilarious like hell! I cant believe they can be so funny haha.. Their jokes where kindof green haha *anong kindof talagang green* and yet it looked so funny on them. haha I thought I was the only one enjoying then when i looked at my friends theyre enjoying it too.. haha which is a good thing.
I really wanna do it again! maybe next time itd be in laffline, or Punchline..i still have the tickets with me, My Mom Gave me the tickets and a standup comedian "Le Chazz" gave it to my mom haha I saw Le CHazz there i think that was him, based from my mom's description of him or her xD kung sya nga un , ang ganda ng boses nya.. nainsecure naman ako sa boses nya haha..and funny rin sya... xD
"Bilisan nyo nga maglakad, nagshoshow ako daan kayo ng daan!"
while new customers are making their way to their table
"Holding hands pa! wala na ngang maupuan, holding hands pa!"
then may makaholding hands kasi na nandun...xD
haha his facial expression was really funny!
Then I also enjoyed when the stand up comedians did a spoof of Sharon's commercial from Nido..the "look at me ma" haha coz instead of the milk the one imitating sharon's daughter took a San Mig haha basta it was really funny! you should go and see em live..^_^
me and aja
looking so wasted na haha amf
Elaine and Majo
Liezl, Elaine, Majo and K.c
Liezl and Elaine
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Sunday, March 08, 2009
my post for this day is about Francis M, yeah its really late na...but i feel like giving him the respect and love he deserves.
Last Friday, March 6, Ate shirly told us that Francis M died at exactly 12:20 pm. I didnt believe it at first though the news already confirmed it. Im still at the state of shock and surprised. I know he has a cancer but i never expected he'd died too soon. Way too soon. He's only 44. And when he was diagnosed with with
acute myelogenous leukemia Last August 8, 2008 it was announced at Eat Bulaga and of course everyone was shocked. He was called a Fighter, i agree with that. He fought with Leukemia for 8 months. He's a very influencial person, he's the reason why we have this "rap" as a genre here in the Philippines, thats why he was named "The Master Rapper". Even his friends say so. He was the one who sang, "Mga Kababayan ko, Kaleidoscope World, Meron akong Ano, SUper Proxy" and so many others. Im sure youve heard of these songs already. My personal fave was Keleidoscope World. He'd worked with a lot of music artist and writers, Parokya ni Edgar, Michael V. Gloc 9., Eraserheads and many other...
His body will be crmated on Wednesday march 11 na. T_T
Wherever he is right now I know, and we all know he is happy.As what he'd mention in his multiply blog. Life is wonderful and we should be thankful for each day God has given us.Yes, Life was never easy, who said it is anyways?!We should look up to him.The fighter he was.haiz... Its really sad. I must admit Im not really the avid fan na super tili when i see him. But I like him, for all his contributions in the Music Industry here in Philippines, who wouldnt like him?! Yes I like him and respect him and his music. Im happy in so many ways for we have/had him =) haiz... im so sad... seriously amf... talaga.... haiz T_T
oh well thats life. Just go with the flow. Live life to the fullest.for we will never know when will be our time..
Always pray to God and thank Him."Master Rapper; You will Surely be MISSED"
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Thursday, March 05, 2009
Hi to all ^_^ err ok so I havent updated my blog for the last 3 days?! O_o I do visit my blog and see who left me a message and comment, thats all. xD and I was kinda bust lolz.. with
Facebook particularly the game
Sorority Life. xD My Close Friend/Anak/Daughter Hanzel Iguis invited me Last Monday to play the said game.
And then tadaaa here i Am so hooked up and so addicted to SL. O_o
As of now Im on Level 15 ^_^ Later today Ill try to reach level 20(+) haha addict amf...
I liek the game coz it has the attack, slap, write to burn lists which all I did was to attack haha..i tried slapping someone. The reason? nothing much, just wanna see what would happen if i did slap someone.. based from my SIster's experience when someone slaps them they attacked em back.. haha.. lolz.. I loev it.. The House Mama is proud of me haha.. amf.. I still need more sisters on my house.
If ever you have facebook just add me up, if youre playing SL much much better haha redundant amfufu..xD haha
I was so busy with facebook that I forgot to accept siz kailin's friend request at FS arghh.. but Ill accept her na..as in ngayon na.. ^__^ i miss her T_T memory gap! *wallbash*
And one more thing nga pala I was, I mean I still am pissed off with Friendster. Yesterday kasi I was uploading some fansigns that my ftalk friends gave me. And there were 2 fansigns na nadoble, and the tendency was for me to delete the pics that were uploaded twice. So i seleced the two pics. And click the delete button. Then Tadaaaa Some of the fansigns were deleted as well.. I think its 10(+) images/fansigns. I was so pissed off...seriously.. good think I have backup copies on my pc, so just in case this happen, well it happened already. But there was this fansign that Alyssa/xiaah made for me she uploaded it on my FS thats why i forgot to save it on my pc. ayun..i asked her again to upload it on my album. I dunno if she uploaded it already.. haiz.. FS...is giving me headache. My college friends asked me how to put a layout on FS, and I said that you will be needing to install this app ekek. which i dunno if its still working or not. Im really gettin tired updating my FS, I think its nice if id leave it simple. No Layouts. just liek in FB xD then my friend texted me and made me confuse, she was asking me how did i install the layout im using. She said that i still have a layout. haha..i was liek ok. labo ng fS xD I dunn mind na lang. Before kasi my friends asked me to update their fs layouts, but not anymore since its quite complicated na.
amf anong quite, complicated na talaga* xD Im really enjoying Facebook. thats all..
Yesterday, I received a gift from si Janile, its a cute thank you graphics.. she made soooo many way too many... gifts for us.. weeeee and im so happy she included me.. im really greatful.. coz even if were not that close yet she even gave me one. Thank you so much siz janile!! anyway heres the gift
oha oha!! ^_^ weeeee
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Sunday, March 01, 2009
Its March already... and days passes by..so fast..
I cant really imagine. It was liek were celebrating the new year's eve yesterday and now its March 1 already. O_o haha...
So my friends and I planned to have a get together at Laffline this March Im not sure with the date yet. They'll be the ones to decide since Im the one responsible for our entrance ticket yeah i already have the tickets with me 2 tickets to be exact coz one ticket is good for 5 persons. and we're 7. and i think theyre trying to contact the others..errr I always remind them that if all seven of us will come only 3 persons can come along. haha.. xD Im excited since I havent seen them in awhile. you know busy with stuffs and their own lives. So busy that we even have to set the date just for us to have this get together.
Early this morning I just finished my plurk layout. Ive been working on it since last month but laziness always struck me, thank God I managed to finished it. I found the pics over the net, photobucket and my cousin's pics xD and i used em. I think the layout's cute im really happy , satisfied and accomplished with it. Im really impatient with codes, when something seems to be the prob haha..im not that genius when it comes to coding unliek the others. xD
bytheway add me up in plurk if yah have one :)
Plurk Acctanyways heres what my plurk layie looks like..
im thinking of creating moer plurk layies.. im gettin tired creating fs layies..when Fs always managed to filter the codes from time to time.. ^__^
The code templates of the layie was from plurklayouts.com ^__^
the credit goes to them big time!!! ^__^
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Friday, February 27, 2009
That was the title of the ringtone from the movie One Missed Call, if youve watched the movies already, then you'll know what im talkin about here..I always love horror films esp. from Japan I think they make reaalllly good horror films. The Ring, The Grudge, One Missed Call, Shutter, The Phone are some movies from Japan. uhmm Maybe because their characters really suits the role Like with Sadako, Mimiko or LiLi. xD Anyways I just watched One Missed Call 2 earlier, it had been my pass time; to watch movies and Ive been searching for the title of the ringtone in the movie; the tone which plays whenever someone receives his/her own incoming call. its really creepy... especially now that I have the tone in my phone as a ringtone. I was fooling around with my Inaanak and her sister this afternoon, my inaanak who is 10 and her sister who is 7. Theyre so scared, theyve watched the movie with me and theyre scared liek hell haha..sadista moed* haha but after that I told them it was just a joke and that its not true haha..I dunn want them to have nightmares or anythin liek that. Yayang, my inaanak once had a nightmare coz of those movies. So now im more careful when watching and theyre around..
The title of the tone is liek what Ive said earlier is Melody of Death. I posted a confession at FriendsterTalk regarding this one, i said that i really wanna know the title of the tone and luckily
Shella_Suigintou99 replied to my post and told me the title. Im really thankful and greatful haha xD
Im still uploading the ringtone sa Imeem, imma post it here for you guys. so while waiting for it to dl...eto pa..lately I mean this past few weeks Im having asthma attacks at night when Im about to sleep or at the middle of the night when Im sleeping. and i hate it.i hate hearing that sound when im breathing like
But I started taking medicines again so i think im fine naman.
Anyways...ayun its done
oha oha 
<
cute noh?! its my fave icon @ Plurk xDso heres the tone haha weeeee creeeppppyyyy xD
One Missed Call - Melody of Death.mp3 -
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Thursday, February 26, 2009
ok so last night I was reading siz ren's online stories at her other blog entitled
BitterTea it was a really nice story. It was a short story but its really cute. I liek her main characters Nix and Maico, wish I have an idea what they look liek I mean shempre may pinagbasehan ung faces nila :) I loev reading tagalog loev stories that I even made one myself, but Im not yet done with it though... I posted that one @ FriendsterTalk. xD Later Imma read her other finished stories xD ^_^
Earlier this afernoon , while my Tita was using the PC, out of boredom I decided to edit some pics on my phone using the cartoon effect. And its kinda cool i mean its kinda cute kasi xD ahehe
here are the outcomes.. xD
ahehe xD
Today's Feb 26 and me and my
bhe's 40th Monthsiversary haha..
3 yrs 4 months!? =]
weve been through a lot we had ups and downs..
im happy that he's always there for me and i loev him soo much..
i found a bestfriend in him along the way.. ^_^
though for sure he'll react on the bestfriend thingy haha xD muah!!
And today I decided to have some sacrifices since Yesterday was the start of the Lenten Season...
here are some..:
im
trying to get rid of the following;
Pls take note the word TRYING XD
[1]
Chocolates, and other foods things that makes me happy and satisfied.
[2]
meats and other foods, i will only eat fish starting tomorrow?!! meow* lolz.
[3]since being online is one reason why im happy XD
imma lessen my online hours huhu...just lessen... haha xD
i think I can handle those... little sacrifices wont be so bad..=]
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